A Moment in the Life
by PlasticShinigami
Summary: What happens when Lupin leaves Sirius alone for 5 minutes? What does Voldemort do when he's not planning to take over the world? Fun songfics. Please R/R!
1. A Moment in the Life: Sirius Black

This is my songfic about Sirius Black. I started what-ifing one day, and this is what came of it. I might write another if I can think of another song for another character.

**Disclaimer:** Do I need one of these? Does anyone not understand that I don't own any of the following except the concept? I doubt I'm the only one with this concept too! Damn. I'm so unoriginal. Gah. Harry Potter and all related indicia are licensed to Warner Bros. and JK Rowling. 'I'm Too Sexy' belongs to Right Said Fred and Virgin Records.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

A Moment in the Life: Sirius Black

By PlasticShinigami

Sirius had been sleeping on Remus's couch for about a week now. After being asked by Dumbledore, Remus had allowed Sirius to stay. Of course, he would have let him stay if Sirius had asked himself. Remus was busy with investigating rumors of Death Eaters, and Sirius couldn't exactly get out much. If someone spotted him the dementors would have a little kiss for him.

"Sirius, I'm going out for a little while. I'll be back with food. Behave!" Remus shouted from the front door.

Sirius was sitting on the couch watch television. A very incoherent look was plastered on his face. Bay Watch was on.

"Uh…alright." He muttered in response.

"Why don't you get something done, Sirius?" 

"Uh…alright."

The front door slammed. Sirius's eyes slowly moved away from the bouncing big-breasted woman on the TV. He raised one arm and clicked the remote, shutting the TV off. He looked out the window. Remus was walking farther and farther away. A certain crazed smile came to Sirius's face. He stood up. He was dressed in a long black robe. He pulled the crimson curtains at the windows shut and went to the stereo. When he turned it on, there was nothing. Then a deep sexy voice came on. Sirius struck a pose and moved his lips with the words.

I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love 

_Love's going to leave me_

The beat picked up and the actual music started. Sirius jumped on the coffee table. With a wave of his wand his black robe became a black mesh shirt and tight leather pants. He began to dance on the coffee table. It creaked beneath his weight. Sirius lip-synced with the music again, wiggling his hips and waving his hands.

I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt 

_So sexy it hurts_

Sirius pulled his mesh shirt up and over his head. He flung it across the room. It landed on Remus's large pile of books.

And I'm too sexy for Milan, too sexy for Milan 

_New York and Japan_

He jumped down from the coffee table and turned the music up. Remus was much too far away to hear it by now. The whole house, though, seemed to pound with the beat. Sirius climbed up onto the couch and started shaking his booty.

And I'm too sexy for your party 

_Too sexy for your party_

No way I'm disco dancing 

Sirius's dance style changed to disco. He thrust his hips out and did the well-known disco move. He made a giant leap onto the coffee table and began to pretend he was a model. His lips never missed a word.

I'm a model, you know what I mean 

_And I do my little turn on the catwalk_

_Yeah on the catwalk, on the catwalk yeah_

_I do my little turn on the catwalk_

Sirius clapped his hands and turned around. He struck poses. He sang some of the words. He was wild. Meanwhile, Remus, having gone down the street to the market, realized he had forgotten all his money. He began the short walk back to his house.

I'm too sexy for my car, too sexy for my car 

_Too sexy by far_

_And I'm too sexy for my hat_

_Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that?_

Sirius had conjured up a top hat. He began waving it around in one hand. After a few moments of dancing around the room with the hat, he flung it across the room. It neatly landed on top of his shirt.

I'm a model, you know what I mean 

_And I do my little turn on the catwalk_

_Yeah on the catwalk, on the catwalk yeah_

_I shake my little touché on the catwalk_

There was more hand clapping and butt shaking as Sirius clambered back onto the creaky coffee table. He did his little turn and swivel his shoulders. He ran his hand through his black hair. Sirius had no idea what Right Said Fred meant by being a model, but he liked it.

I'm too sexy for my, too sexy for my, too sexy for my 

Sirius had some how squirmed his way out his tight leather pants. They in turn some how found their way to the top hat and shirt. Sirius was prancing around in his briefs now.

'Cos I'm a model you know what I mean 

_And I do my little turn on the catwalk_

_Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah_

_I shake my little touch on the catwalk_

Remus had just reached the front gate to the house. He opened it. The faint sound of music reached his ears. Just what was Sirius doing? Little did Remus know, Sirius doing his little turns, disco moves, and dancing half naked in his living room.__

_I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat_

_Poor pussy poor pussycat_

_I'm too sexy for my love to sexy for my love_

Love's going to leave me 

  
Remus was just reaching the front door. Sirius ran his hands down his body. He licked one finger and touched it to his chest.

"Tsss!" Sirius copied the sound of steam.

And I'm too sexy for this song 

Remus opened the door and saw Sirius. Sirius, though, was lounging around lazily on the couch. Big-breasted girls were running through the water on the television. He was wearing his black robe. The top hat, mesh shirt, and leather pants were gone. There was no music. 

Remus sighed, "Are you ever going to get off that couch, Sirius?"

"Uh…alright." Answered Sirius.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

I have yet to decide if I'll do another moment. But this was fun! Think Remus had a clue of what went on?


	2. A Moment in the Life: Lord Voldemort

Inspired by a certain limerick I wrote about Voldemort and his rubber ducky

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the following except the concept. But that's not even licensed to me, so hack away!

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

A Moment in the Life: Lord Voldemort

By PlasticShinigami

Harry heard a splashing noise. He turned around and found himself in a long corridor. The floorboards were covered with old Persian rugs.  Portraits and paintings hung off the walls. He heard it again, splashing. Most of the doors he could see were closed. Only one room had any form of light in it. That one room was the only one with an open door, even if it was just a crack. Harry walked towards it. He peered inside, but hid in the shadows. What he saw amazed him.

There was a tub full of soap bubbles. And lounging deep within the white froth was Voldemort! Harry sniggered. Voldemort taking a bubble bath? But his giggles ceased when Voldemort raised his wand in one spider like white hand.   
Voldemort spoke in a soothed and relaxed tone, "Concerto."   
His was swished and flicked and music began to play. Harry looked about for its origin, but saw none. The music's bubbly and upbeat tune reminded Harry of a TV show he had seen as a child. That show was Sesame Street. That's when Voldemort began to sing.

_Rubber Ducky you're the one!_

_You make bath time lots of fun!_

_Rubber ducky I am awfully fond you! _

_Woo be do!_

That's when Harry realized in Voldemort's other hand was a bright yellow rubber ducky. Voldemort was squeezing the ducky, forcing it to squeak along as he sang.

Rubber ducky, joy of joys 

_When I squeeze you, you make noise!_

_Rubbery ducky, you're my very best friend it's true!_

Doo doo doo doo, doo doo 

Harry laughed under his breath. Lord Voldemort, who's very name struck fear into the hearts of wizards was singing to a rubber duck. Voldemort dropped his wand and held the rubber ducky with both hands. His red eyes gazed into the ducky's big black friendly looking eyes.

Every day when I 

_Make my way to the tubby_

_I find a little fella who's_

_Cute and yellow and chubby_

_Rub-a-dub-dubby!_

Harry leaned forward a little. He wanted to see if he could see the origin of the upbeat happy-go-lucky music. Voldemort seemed so wrapped up in his Rubber Ducky Song that Harry didn't think he'd notice. That's when the door let out and awful creak. Harry slipped back before Voldemort could see him. Voldemort stopped singing when he looked at the door. His red eyes narrowed. He put the ducky down and reached for his wand. With a swish the music stopped.

"Nagina? No, it's not Nagina. Wormtail? I told you to leave me alone!" Voldemort spat. 

Harry crouched down into the shadows, hoping Voldemort would forget his was there.

"Crucio!"

Harry felt a horrible pain throughout his body. He had felt this pain before, when Voldemort had dueled him in the graveyard. But now it was ten times worse. Harry screamed and screamed and screamed.

"Harry! Harry! Wake up!"

Harry was drenched in sweat. He wasn't in a corridor being mercilessly tortured by a bathing Voldemort. In reality he was lying on his bed in the Gryffindor dorms with Ron shaking him awake. But the pain had been real, his body ached from it.

"Harry, are you alright? You were screaming and writhing in pain." Ron looked tired. It was still dark outside. Harry wondered what time it was.

"Yeah, Ron…I'm fine. I just…think I saw Voldemort singing to a rubber ducky."

Ron winced, "I can see where that would be painful."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~  
End. The original plan was the reader sneaking up on Voldemort. But it just seemed like a better idea having Harry dream it, cause his dreams are usually prophetic or what's really happening. What you didn't see/hear was Voldemort telling his rubber ducky that Harry will "never tear them apart." 


End file.
